Don’t Let This Happen to You
Spider-Man Costumes. Get one that fits.
I find your lack of apple juice disturbing.
It’s Shark Week!!!!!!
Nothing says ‘sexy’ more than a well turned ankle! Your frothy milk and ice cream drink treat will bring all the young lads to your courtyard for a fine evening of dancing and merriment, all under the watchful eye of your sponsor in these fine Victorian Costumes! Don’t forget your bonnet or else you’ll be a disgrace to the family name and no one will want to marry you!
“Oh God, did you just? Please tell me that wasn’t you. IT STINKS. Man, I thought I was bad but that’s only a natural defense, you on the other hand, damn…that’s just…that’s just inhumane.”
“My, Grandma, what nice socks you have.”
“Arghaburghahfgurbb”
“Oh, Grandma, you’re the best.”
(Source: findcostume.com)
It’s a Talking Pip Squeek.
I never understood Sexy Nun Costumes. I mean on a certain level I get it. The unobtainable, the chaste virgin devoting her life to God and who wants nothing to do with you..but come on..how many young nuns are there in the world anymore? And hot ones to boot? I’m guessing a very limited number. Every nun I’ve encountered has been at least 100 years old (I attribute it to her daily dose of prayers and holy water) . What sick, twisted costume designer thought, ‘Oh god, my 78 year old nun is totally hot, wouldn’t it be even hotter if I envisioned her in a skimpier outfit for young women to put on and portray?’ I really want to know what think tank created this sexy costume because in reality it isn’t as sexy as you think.
Sincerely,
Now Pretty Polly comes with tattoos!
There’s never an occasion that wouldn’t be benefited by a carrot costume. You’ll never hear anyone say, “Get that inappropriate carrot out of here!” Everyone welcomes a little whimsy in their lives, be it random or carrot-shaped. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t exceptions to this general carrot-friendly rule. Probably not a good idea to wear it to the office, unless it’s casual Friday. You should also probably not put this on for a funeral, unless it’s a funeral for a rabbit. Mr.Fluffenbums would appreciate you paying homage to his favorite food, may he rest in peace.
Sincerely,
Pear, Imma let you finish, but Banana has the best fruit costume of all time. (Why do they even try?)
Sincerely,
Found this in our Clearance Costume Section, why am I not surprised?
Every pregnant woman wonders, or wonders and doesn’t admit it, what their child will look like. Like her or her baby daddy? Maybe the newborn will have grandpa’s nose and Aunt Barbara’s five-head, or maybe it will have demon talon hands and an abnormally large and vein-y cranium. Just maybe.
Imagine giving birth, all the blood, sweat, tears and bodily fluids everywhere only to be rewards with seeing this HORRIFIC CREATURE being held by the nurse. What do you do? Torch it with fire or jump out of your hospital suite window?…or do you, dare I say it, love and care for it?
To be honest, I’d deny it. Straight to that damn doctor’s face. “Nope, never seen that kid in my life. Can’t be mine. I was never pregnant.”
What would you do?
Why travel when you can just BE the Eiffel Tower?
“Wait, you’re going to stick that where? I’m sorry but we’ve only been dating for three weeks. This is moving just a bit too fast for my taste and I’m not waiting to ‘eject my hardware safely’.”
